Rethinking Holiday Gift Giving
Choosing the right holiday gift can be a daunting task. While giving gifts is a cherished tradition, the pressure to find the perfect present can be overwhelming. In 2024, Americans spent nearly $1 trillion on holiday shopping, according to the National Retail Federation, with spending expected to increase even more this year. Yet, despite the high cost, many gifts still miss the mark—returns were up 17% last season.
Elanor Williams, associate professor of marketing at Washington University, explains, “We give gifts because we want to make people happy and show we care, which is why gift-giving can be so stressful.” Fortunately, behavioral science offers valuable insights into how to choose gifts that are both meaningful and well-received.
Skip the Flash, Focus on Usefulness
One common mistake gift givers make is falling into the “smile-seeking” trap—choosing items that elicit a big reaction at the moment of unwrapping, rather than those that offer long-term satisfaction. Researchers from the National University of Singapore and University of Chicago coined this term after studies showed that recipients typically prefer practical gifts over flashy, personalized ones.
For example, in one experiment, participants chose between a practical mug set and a personalized one for a wedding gift. Givers believed the personalized gift would be better received, but recipients actually favored the ergonomic, more useful set.
Williams advises, “Focus on whether the gift will be used and appreciated in the weeks and months to come, not just the moment it’s opened.”
Put Yourself in Their Shoes
One of the simplest ways to ensure your gift hits the mark is to consider what the recipient would choose for themselves. Mary Steffel, associate professor at Northeastern University, recommends using wish lists as a guide. “Choosing something the recipient would pick for themselves keeps the focus on their preferences rather than your own need to appear thoughtful,” she says.
Research from Harvard and Stanford confirms that recipients appreciate gifts from their wish lists more than unexpected surprises—even if givers believe otherwise. The desire to be seen as considerate often leads givers to go rogue, which can backfire.
Avoid Overly Personal Gifts
While personal touches can make a gift feel thoughtful, being too specific can actually lower a gift’s usefulness. In studies by Steffel and Williams, participants preferred versatile gifts like Visa gift cards over those tailored to a single store—even if that store was a favorite.
Givers tend to assume that close relationships require more personalized gifts, but this can lead to less flexible and less appreciated presents. Steffel notes, “Givers choose something that represents who the recipient is, but recipients care more about what they need or want in the moment.”
Repeat What Works
It’s okay to give the same gift to multiple people, especially if it’s something universally appreciated. Studies show that givers often try to vary gifts to seem more thoughtful, even if that means choosing an option that’s less desirable.
Steffel and Robyn LeBoeuf conducted experiments where participants chose between Amazon gift cards and more specific alternatives. When giving to multiple people, givers were more likely to choose different cards to appear unique, even though Amazon was the most preferred option.
“You should give the gift that you think they’ll like the most—even if it’s a duplicate,” Steffel advises.
Experiences Strengthen Bonds
When it comes to deepening relationships, experiential gifts often outperform material ones. Research by Cindy Chan at the University of Toronto and Cassie Mogilner at UCLA found that recipients of experiential gifts felt a stronger emotional connection to the giver—even when the experience wasn’t shared.
In one study, university students gave each other $15 gifts. Those who received experiences, such as tickets or gift cards for activities, reported a greater sense of closeness to the giver than those who received physical items.
Experiences evoke stronger emotional responses, which create lasting memories and deepen bonds. You can also combine material and experiential elements for greater impact. For instance, pairing a coffee mug with a heartfelt note encouraging relaxation creates a moment that resonates emotionally.
Don’t Overthink It
Despite all the science, remember that most gifts are well-liked. Chan reassures, “Really bad gifts are not the norm. Most people appreciate the gesture behind the gift.” The key is to focus on the recipient’s needs and desires, not your own performance as a gift giver.
By applying these research-backed strategies, you can reduce the stress of holiday shopping and increase the joy your gifts bring. Whether it’s a practical kitchen gadget, a thoughtful experience, or a simple item from a wish list, the best gifts are those that show you truly considered the recipient’s happiness.
This article is inspired by content from Original Source. It has been rephrased for originality. Images are credited to the original source.